In my childhood, I was wondering how the SPACE looks like, where it begins and ends, how it looks like on other planets, and how it is with those black holes, traveling through space/time and all the abstract concepts that I didn´t understand at all. ? But because it was a too big cake for one cup of cocoa and I didn´t find any answers to my questions, I have put it off for a few years. But I was still enthusiastic about watching the day and night sky, feeling its infinity and depth, staring at the clouds, being enchanted by the stars in the night sky.
Then something rapidly changed in 2012. I remember that day, the place and the feeling when “it” struck me – suddenly I got a strong inspiration and the desire to answer all these questions and to get rid of the fear of the unknown, of the stars and of what is beyond them. Suddenly I knew I just had to learn how the universe works, how it looks, and most importantly, who all is inhabiting it?
I unconsciously felt that I wanted to move from the separation to unity and face the duality, my fear, the feeling of weakness and ignorance. I wanted to know both “good” and “bad”, both inside and outside. I went into an in-depth study on the Internet, learned a lot of disturbing information and theories, but I did not give up and continued. I found out that a lot of people are actively engaged in contact with E.T. beings, channeling and healing through their energies; besides, I´ve got of course myself to many conspiracy theories and disclosure of governmental activities, etc. It was often an unpleasant study, but I just dove into it and I tried to find the truth. My intuition led me greatly, and when something was too much for me, I put off the topic for a while, and after a few years came back to it, with completely different consciousness and approach.
Almost immediately, as soon as I started this inquiry, I started having different weird dreams. Lots of vivid dreams, with many emotions and physical sensations, when I saw many spacecrafts following me, wanted to visit me, and I was excited, but I more scared, so I just ran away. 😀 But I knew very well what was happening.
Almost every night before bedtime, I felt a presence of one or several “people” at my bed, sometimes I had a glimpse of them and nearly got a heart attack. When I was just about to fall asleep, I felt a wave of energy flowing through various parts of my body, my brain, my heart, and I felt a lot of love. And fear. 🙂 I began to understand that they were healing and activating me, but at that time I still did not understand why, and why me. Hahaha.
After some time my inner sight began to improve, I started to see (in the dark) the energy, different beings around me and energy structures. I wanted to understand it so much! I pushed it and by that I slowed down my progress and deeper understanding. I was really annoyed. 😀
With those experiences, my heart started to open up more, the fear decreased and my curiosity and enthusiasm to go deeper increased, as well as a wish to get more clarity. Because I perceived a lot of stuff and did not understand it at all.
This period lasted for about 4 years, when I felt small steps forward, and I was more and more studying different sources, channelings and I was feeling into their energies. I practised discernment, intuition, and gradually got a good deal of clarity about what information is true to me, and what not. This is a very important ability – to discern and not to believe everything that one reads. 😀 Especially when we are opening to something we can´t see and don´t know. I learned how important it is to be aware of my motives, to believe my heart and intuition, to read between the lines and to recognize manipulation, and to constantly observe my ego. The more honest I was to myself, the more I revealed my feeling of inadequacy, the desire to prove something to myself and to fit in, the tendency to escape and to reject the present moment, and many other great qualities. 🙂 Actually, I did not appreciate myself as a human being. I did not know where it came from.
It’s a juicy and fruitful process, and I love it. I can heartfuly recommend a Q & A video by Vashta Narada, who talks about all these aspects and pitfalls. She is great in clear sharing of information, I very much resonate with most of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PlihzCZDnE I find it a perfect summary, so I share it.
To be continued …